I’ve stated in a few blog posts that people are not who they seem, that nothing is as it seems. And I was reminded of that again in the past couple of days. I’ve joked with some friends that children have good boundaries—because the same child who’s loving on you one day won’t want you the next day. It’s at their behest how they want to interact with you, and I believe we’ve lost that liberty and that authority over ourselves in adulthood.
God requires that what we do and give is given freely and willingly.
I feel our society is becoming less amenable to one’s autonomy. Coercion, force, and deception are the order of the day. There are little sneak attacks, little jabs—things suggested to make you take a decision you don’t want. Your autonomy is constantly being challenged and compromised so that someone else can have their will done over yours.
Is that biblical? If God Himself wants us to be willing participants—willingly trusting Him even where we have reservations—why are there humans who feel they ought to strip this from us?
This is unbiblical behavior.
We live in a world where people’s true thoughts don’t always align with their actions. More and more, sincerity, integrity, and genuineness are a rarity. There’s a slow conditioning—a stripping of what God has freely given to us. It’s as though, for the sake of someone’s comfort, we must compromise our integrity, play the clown—not for the sake of peace, but so that our will, our autonomy, doesn’t discomfit them. Is that of God? Did Jesus ever strip people of their autonomy for His message to transform or change them? He always read the hearts of the people, understanding the reason why they were asking a question—whether it was with evil intent or from genuine curiosity.
My prayer is that we have this acute discernment—that we are able to hear what is not being said, see what is hidden, and judge with righteous judgment the actions and intents behind people’s words. I pray that we don’t fall victim to the will of human beings who seek only their own way, who wish to deceive, control, and impose their will. I pray that we have the courage to follow the Spirit when He restrains us in all matters pertaining to people and life.
Sincerity and integrity are forms of protection from unscrupulous men and women who only want to take advantage. When we compromise these values, we make ourselves vulnerable. However, we have an example in Christ; our God is both a lion and a lamb. We, too, have this nature of our Heavenly Father. Don’t let church folk, work folk, family, or the world make you a lamb for their slaughter. You’re also a lion.
Moreover, God requires that our worship of Him, and our interactions with each other, be out of sincerity and integrity. He requires our “yes” to be yes, and our “no” to be no. Anything outside of that is from the evil one (Matthew 5:37).
We should not seek to impose our will or have our own way above what someone is willing to give. It doesn’t create strong bonds—not among friends, family, lovers, colleagues, nor in our communities. We must not allow ourselves to be coerced into saying or doing what we truly do not want. We are to move with liberty in this Kingdom so that our actions flow by the Spirit of God and reflect His nature.
Ephesians 4:25 calls us to put off falsehood and speak truthfully to our neighbor... What good is it if I lie to you as my friend, just so I don’t step on your toes with the truth? Am I made a better person? Are you, the one I’m lying to, even improved?
I know this seems easier said than done in some situations. Admittedly, it’s not easy because it doesn’t take into account the pushback that is inevitable, the fallout, or the risk of being labeled “difficult.” I recently read something where a woman said that because she stood up for herself at work, she was thereafter labeled as “difficult.” But as my pastor likes to say: “Let God be true and every man a liar” (Romans 3:4). At the end of the day, you can’t build a good reputation on a lie or on pleasing people. The day those people’s attitudes toward you sour, they’ll ruin you anyway.
I pray that God helps us be courageous, and be like Him—bold to speak the truth in every circumstance we find ourselves. And after speaking the truth, that we may stand on it.
