Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤


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    Hindsight is my first book! Read about where the idea came from, why I think it’s important, and how it’s the book that led to self-actualization.♡
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Latest Posts

My Book


I’m excited to share my book, Hindsight, with you. I wrote this book late 2019 (think December) and finished it a few months later. It wasn’t a difficult book to write. It flowed. The moments that it became difficult is because I wasn’t writing honestly. And there were parts I felt were too honest, but I reminded myself that it’s in the truth that everything will make sense.


What Inspired it?

I didn’t set out intending to write Hindsight. There was a book I began to write in January 2019, whilst living in Calgary, Alberta. And I was committed to writing it. My life seemed like it was slowly flowing in the right direction. And then it wasn’t.  A month later I had to go back home and the fountain of ideas flowing for that initial book to be written dried up. And I never quite got back to writing it. Hindsight, then, came when I made a desperate plea to God on my drive to church one evening. I was reflecting on 2019, and how disappointing of a year it was; how bitter it tasted, and how unsatisfying it was, on all accounts. I recall thinking I should write something about how I felt about the year, and break it up into quarters, but I wasn’t sure. And then suddenly the title came to me, and I quickly picked up my phone, and as I drove, dictated into my phone the title, what I was going to write, and a brief summary of what the book was going to be about. 



Why the title Hindsight? 


I think it was God’s way of saying to me; “Chenai, change your perspective about everything that happened.” Why? So, I can make it through the challenges still to come. He was telling me to have hope in the midst of the disappointment, and not have fatalistic attitude nor be sorrowful about my present circumstances. And the only way to believe this was for me to take a stroll down memory lane a little bit, and for His spirit to illuminate a few truths for me. Admittedly, Hindsight did not end up being a stroll down 2019, but various difficult moments in my life in the past few years.


Life is always going to throw curveballs. Some worse than others, but no matter who you are, you’re gonna go through some things. But in writing and finally publishing Hindsight, I see how much of myself I’ve had to overcome. This book has allowed me to look intimately into myself and consider what I am capable of by looking back at the past, revisiting the emotions and feelings of those challenging moments, and gaining the understanding I didn’t have at that time. And by doing this, Hindsight has affirmed to me that I am able to overcome the challenges in my way right now.  

Why it’s important?


It’s an important book to me because it’s my version of “Girl, get it together.” 

By looking back at the past, especially the particularly difficult moments, I am assured that I will also make it through the difficult moments of the present. There were times where I had no hope for myself or my future, and I could not understand or see any good for my life. I was existing. And although I’d tell myself, “this is as good as it’s going to get” something within me rebelled against that thought, and yet, I could not understand or see how things would get better.  So, seeing how defeated and hopeless I was back then, and looking at it in hindsight, I realize that even when I am inclined into a defeatist attitude, I’m reminded to shift my perspective, and have hope.  My prayer is that, wherever you find yourself, you’ll always have hope. You don’t necessarily have to know how they’ll get better, but if you incline your mind and heart to believe for the best, the best will come. You may wait a long while, but your waiting will not be in vain.


Download your copy on Kindle here. Let me know what you think of Hindsight!