Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤


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"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord" |Lamentations 3:40| NIV|

As you sit there I want you to think about this: why do you feel you have to have things your way all the time? Why is your idea the best one; why’s your way the best way, why’s your level of understanding the one anyone should prescribe to? Why’s your pace the best pace?

Why do you have to control everything? Why can’t you take a step back and accept things as they are, a person as they are, and life as it is?  Why do you hide your fear by being controlling? Don't you see fear rear its head for your attention? Yet you swiftly kick it back from where it burrowed and tie a tight lid over it, unwilling to face the truth in its words, and unwilling to overcome it. And you think you will overcome it by controlling the situation, dictating to everyone and everything than to face the truth. You, who is sliding deeper into sadness and despair and frustration. You, who feels despondent and rejected by God and by life. You are neither sober, nor alert. The enemy of your soul is devouring you daily and you cling to your control to keep afloat, even as you are sinking further into your emotions. 

I’m not going to tell you what to do.  
These roots of fear run deep. What happened to you? What happened to me?  Why do these responses manifest this way?  I’m asking you what I am asking myself too. Because you and I are almost the same. And as the answers slowly start to trickle in, I feel my body shift in discomfort, my chest a little breathless, my stomach’s in knots..
Because as I pull at the root in search of understanding,  slowly a light is illuminating where all my “injuries and deficits are, both self-induced and other-induced.”* Slowly, the symptoms and the causes are surfacing.
I think you need this.  Think about it. It’ll help you. 


*Boundaries: Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
*Pic from @mybeautifulafrica_