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Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤

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    HINDSIGHT
    Hindsight is my first book! Read about where the idea came from, why I think it’s important, and how it’s the book that led to self-actualization.♡
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    SPEAK ON IT, SIS!
    My girls and I are podcasters, speaking on life, adulting, and the socio-political challenges that we see and face as young black women in today’s society. Check out our podcast!♡
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Let there Be...


In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep….Then God said, “Let here be light” and there was light |Gen1:1-3 NKJV|.”
                                                                           **
I told myself that I will be intentional in maintaining positivity, that I would not drag the old into the new. And as I sit on this new day of this new decade, I tell myself that it’s a novel idea; it is easy on this day because I am looking into this new decade as an opportunity to make it greater than the last. And because I desire this, challenges will soon crop up. We always say there is power in the tongue. Death and life reside in it. There’s a belief that our words have creative power. 
And I considered the creation story, how God created the earth, but spoke substance and form into it from the void. And as I pondered on the void, I began to think about the areas in my life that are void. They are without form, and are covered in darkness. There are bruises there, unmet expectations, disappointments, uncomfortable truths and fears skulking in the darkness.  God knew to speak light where darkness roamed. So what words do I need to speak where the issues of life roam, where there is a void in me that is waging war against my life? 

No, I didn’t think to speak “let there be light.” Instead, I looked at that area of my life, that void, that bruise/hurt, and I said “Let there be healing.” To that dark place festering with un-forgiveness, I said “Let there be forgiveness.” That area that is chaotic and seemingly ready to drown me: “Let there be peace.”
Do I feel forgiving, or healed or at peace? Not at this particular moment, but I cannot doubt the efficacy of my creative power. If it is spoken, then it is so. God said “Let there be light” and there was light.

I know that as the minutes, hours, days, and months progress, I will encounter what I need to precipitate the manifestation of that forgiveness, of the peace, of that healing. Or perhaps it will happen without me clocking it. 

Anyway, through all of this I have to admit that I considered how even with this creative power, the void is often intimidating. The efforts that I make to quell the booming and rolling voice of chaos that more often than not tosses me to and fro; that even when I speak, the chaos continues, are rendered fruitless. And I get discouraged, and frustrated, and I wonder why my creative power doesn’t work. But it is safe to say that the more I allow discouragement, and doubt, and frustration to take over, I dull the power of that voice to create what I want. My source of power, of strength, of peace is God, and so, when I disconnect from him because of doubt, and discouragement, and fear, and frustration, I lose my power, and the void persists. 
So what?
I’m tired of the void. I’m tired of the feeling of powerlessness. I’m tired of the areas in my soul that are without form, yet dictate how I move, how I respond, how I interact with my environment. I’m tired of the void bewitching me almost, driving me to act, say, and exist in a way that strips me of my power. It makes existing in this place burdensome, and brings a deep weariness to my soul. 
  So what will I do? 
God’s Spirit hovered over the face of the waters that were inevitably covered in darkness (v 2). I have to push back. I have to fight for myself. I’m surrounded by the darkness, and the waters, and the emptiness but I have power over them. I have to believe that. I have my word; I have my God. I have my voice. 
 It’s the simple actions that often destroy the giants in our lives, isn’t it?
      So speak to the void. 

**
SoulTea


Original pic from Instagram: @mybeautifulafrica_