I didn’t want to do an end-of- year reflection because I haven’t had a moment to reflect on the year. End of year reflections are hard to write but they offer an opportunity for self-improvement.
The year began with changes that I found hard to accept. Moving back to a place I’d left wasn’t what my heart desired, and I was lamenting to God. However, as the year wraps up, I’m glad that my heart is at peace, as I’ve entered a new season of life.
Unfortunately, I didn’t meet all my goals this year. I was working towards accomplishing them, especially language learning, but I got burnt out. I didn’t realize that I was burnt out until I stopped making the effort, and I haven’t continued since the summer. But I realize that I placed too much pressure on myself to do well. I wasn’t quite hitting the bar that I’d set for myself and this was causing me additional stress. With hindsight, I suppose I wasn’t allowing myself to go from bad to good. I wanted to go from good to better. And that’s something that I will work at going forward.
What’s the biggest change that took place this 2025? Getting married. Prayer truly works because we pulled off a beautiful wedding. I know they say “now the real work begins” but it’s the holidays. I’m giving myself time to bask in the moment, to be thankful, and to celebrate the moment. I think I have gotten a bit ahead of myself the past few days, attempting to ensure all expectations are met. However, as I write this, I realize that it’s important to give new beginnings a chance to blossom at their pace. It’s not quite like starting a new job, but you still want to put in your best foot forward. You have many expectations, but perhaps it’s wise to suspend them, and take each day as it comes.
And I think that’s what I will do this new year, take each day as it comes. I often set grand expectations for each new year. I think it’s good to be ambitious, because we’re all capable of great things. I had an expectation of enjoyment when I entered 2025. I can’t say I fully experienced that until the last 4-ish months of the year. A lot of things felt hard, and impossible, and fruitless. I felt as though I had let myself down, and to some degree, I’ll say I did. In any case, one thing I’d like to become good at is having a consistent flow of success, of meeting my goals, creating new ones and hitting them out the park. I’ve watched people do that and it’s a flow that I want for the new year for myself.
Also, I intend to carve out moments and activities that bring me joy. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate or costly activity. It just needs to be something that brings refreshment; a boldness to enforce joy in challenging moments especially. Lastly, I want to get good at accepting the mediocre -- accept the bad version of my work and keeping at it until it gets good. This may be the hack I need to advance my language goals, and all my other ambitions.
I’m still going to write goals down. I’m going to expect great things from myself. And this time, I’m going to think less about what I need to do and just do it.
Happy New Year to all of us.
