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Hi, my name is Chenai! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I've even written a book -- make sure to check out Hindsight, currently available on Kindle! Don't be shy to reach out! I would love to hear from you! ❤

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    HINDSIGHT
    Hindsight is my first book! Read about where the idea came from, why I think it’s important, and how it’s the book that led to self-actualization.♡
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Change Your Mind

 



I can’t believe the year is about to come to a close. In 29 days, we will be exiting 2025 and embarking on another year. I thought I’d review my year, but I’m not quite ready to do so. However, entering this new month, I’m doing my best to shield myself from the all-too-familiar disappointment of the unmet, unrealized expectations with which I began the year. I think it would be a disservice to God’s goodness to dwell on them.

I know what it’s like to be anxious about a new month starting—worse, when that new month is the last one of the year and you’re looking to see what you’ve achieved. But we must list the things we are grateful for. It grounds us and helps our brains come back to earth. The fact that you are still alive means there is still an opportunity to meet your goals if you don’t give up.

I remember reading a story about a young man who set a goal every year to buy a Lamborghini. I think it took him 3 or 4 years, but he hustled and was able to make the money to do it. Yet, he started off each year believing that that year would be the one he met his goal, and each year he ended in “disappointment.” But he kept pushing himself, and finally, he accomplished it.

I wasn’t expecting to remember that story, but it reminded me that my goals are still there, waiting for me. I believe challenges come to check the strength of our convictions. Do I love the idea of what I’m hoping for, or am I willing to persevere for it? If I still want it, it’s still available to me.

Moreover, what I learned from that story is not just the consistency to keep going, but the maintenance of the belief that it’s still possible. Disappointment can devour hope faster than delay can. You can’t nurse it forever. If I think about it, the disappointing things I have seen, heard, and experienced have given me insight into why I ought not to trust in myself or in people, but in God. I won’t lie; I have felt that God disappointed me on more than one occasion. But recently, someone reminded me that the way He has orchestrated certain things is actually better for me. When you have your own set of expectations, it does feel like a death to let them go. Your entire identity is wrapped in something that you, yourself, have to throw into the fire. But some identities worked for the environment, and season, but will no longer do so for what is ahead. And sometimes you won’t know this until you reach a crossroads, forcing you to choose between becoming better, or remaining the same.

I think some expectations won’t necessarily get met in the package we create for them, but they are a source of strength to keep us from expecting less from ourselves. And although they may never get met exactly as planned, they help pivot us into something unexpected and better if we trust God. The challenge is to release the pain, release control, and surrender to God ordering our steps.

I had a conversation recently that made me see this month not necessarily as an end, but as the beginning of great things. I’ve been challenged to think differently, to take the reins, and to push forward with new vigor. All things are possible to him who believes. This year has inched me closer to that possibility.