I want to live a life that is more than just checking off boxes of my accomplishments. I mean, checking off those boxes gives a sense of accomplishment and progress, so it’s not wholly a terrible thing. But I don’t want that to be it. Because I don’t want to end up looking at my list and saying “Is that it?” I want to learn to enjoy the process of all that I’m supposed to do, being flexible with the detours, the emotions that they bring, and navigating challenges with grace, with faith, with purpose.
Looking back, I suppose my 20s I had to learn to have faith; build it up, be confident in it, be sure of it, be secure in it. And all the starting and stopping, and not being sure was part of the process of removing the callouses around my heart, my identity; it was my process of self-actualizing. And I needed to traverse it spiritually because, every other route felt meaningless and contrived. Surrendering a potential way of life, to pick up my cross and follow Jesus has often felt meaningless and impossible. But in persevering through it, I have learned that I can live a life that is more than just checking off boxes. Whatever I accomplish whenever I accomplish it, I can have peace in all things. I am not a prisoner to timelines that are not Gods.’
And to be honest, I’m not saying this because of what I have yet to accomplish; but admittedly, even the things that I accomplish, sometimes they don’t feel enough. And I want to get off that crazy train sooner rather than later.
So, cheers to me in this new decade, and if Jesus tarries, to more decades to come.
