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Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤

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Tired





You were never fit
But you qualified anyway.

But in your arrogance you think you qualified yourself

And you sit and drink
And stand and smoke
And pace and lie
And say prayers with your mouth
But your heart’s not in it
And you say you are trying but your fruit is rotten
You make a lie sound like the truth
And you cry for forgiveness and you lie about changing
And you do it again
And you taint your hands.

You are supposed to remain clean

But you think you define what clean means
Your heart is not in it and your actions show it
And you forgive because you must
But slowly your heart’s not in it
You put on a good show and you pray for the best
But the best aint that great and your heart’s not in it and you lie to yourself
God can clean it, but your heart’s not in it
And you are reminded to humble yourself
and the lower you go the more the truth shows
And even more your heart’s not in it
And your faith is suspended
And you don’t want it anymore.




pic via @afrodyssee