Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤


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“Soon” is never soon, is it? It’s false consolation to soothe the long wait before me. It’s never days, weeks, or months. With you, it’s years that chip away confidence and faith and hope only to grow more confidence faith and hope. It’s never seconds or minutes. It’s an arduous wait, a vast open field that breeds wild, noxious flowers: stress, doubt, depression, anxiety, panic attacks.

With you, “soon” is never right now. You take the hopeful and expectant parts of me and toss us all into the furnace. My screams of agony don’t quite reach you. My pleadings for relief convulse and shatter at your feet. I scream myself hoarse. But all you can offer me is: “Soon.”