"For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light."
Psalm 36:9
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There are times when you may go through some things, and you can't see past where you are, because where you are is the only tangible reality that you can perceive. I've certainly been there before. However, when that period passed I remember that I used to think that I understood why some folks completely give up, and end their lives. Before that experience I was fully convinced that it was a lack of will to live. But I did not understand the power of utter darkness. There is a surrender that is borne out of sadness and heart ache; but there's a kind that finds itself in complete agreement with its lies. And when darkness completely takes over, the results are obvious.
There's a verse in the bible that says: "In your light, we see light" (Psalm 36:9).
In God's light, we see light. It's not enough to be surrounded by light, or by the heartfelt encouragement of people, and their words of hope and acts of love. You need to see light in His light. There are people who took their lives while surrounded by supportive and loving friends and family, and that always baffled me. But when I consider also my own dark times, even when surrounded by light, I didn't see it. Darkness is unforgiving, and relentless. You can be in light and not see it, because darkness has dulled your senses. The light is around you, but there's no revelation. You're in light but are utterly blind to it. You do not know what to endure or from what to disconnect, and at the helm of this confusion is darkness.
"God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all" (1John1:5). If He is light, how do we see light?
Light reveals things as they are. When we see light we are no longer manipulated by darkness; hard times do not hold power. We can pass through them in the strength, and with the hope that Jesus had, boldly despising the shame because of the glory that lay ahead. But you have to believe it. What we see by the light of God must not be truncated by the reality of life. Light reveals. We're not to turn our backs and remain the same. Light changes things. If we were stumbling, it means, by the light we can walk confidently.
There are things that we are not seeing, because we're walking in darkness. And some of us are in the light but do not see light. May God open our eyes, so that in his light we'll see light.
