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Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤

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Accountability & Responsibility






The race is not to the swift, nor battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor wealth to the intelligent, nor favour to the skilled, but time and chance happen to them all.

|Ecclesiastes 9:11|

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When I said I’d give up something everyday, 3 days in I realized that distraction is an enemy that sneaks into me subtly, sneakily, undetected. With my mind’s defences relaxed, fomo works in tandem with my mind to lay siege on my mind. Next, overthinking takes over. Fear inevitably strolls in. But the experience of someone else reminded me that my ambitions aren’t insurmountable; I’m neither incapable nor lofty in my thinking. The only thinking I’m at risk of missing out on is the life that I desire if I don’t arise and change.  Taking accountability and responsibility releases a creative flow that I’ve been missing. 


Accountability and responsibility. These words are heavy and compelling. They're a call to action. You have an assignment. Your assignment is not dependent on someone; you have to take the lead on it, you are the CEO, if you don’t execute, change, give direction, give an order, things stay the same. Applied to every area of yourself, and I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me.  

But when you begin to take accountability and responsibility there’s a flow of creativity, of power; there’s a motion that begins to propel you forward, and you begin to do the difficult things, the uncomfortable things. You have a boldness you didn’t possess before. You realize, if not me, then who? 

 

I can attest to life bringing (and revealing?) mental, and emotional blockages that have felt like a never-ending war. Even with the right tools, and knowledge at my disposal, some things have felt impossible, insurmountable, and pointless. It’s a long war, with weapons, tools, that don’t seem to work for you. And you’re misunderstood, lonely, hopeless, but you’re forced to keep fighting. There are days where you wish the enemy would find you and end you, but somehow you keep surviving. You experience victories, only to lose more ground than you’ve won. Your feet feel stuck in mire, but people encourage you forward, push your forward; God’s hand advances you forward despite how let down you feel. In this here difficulty, time feels like a hand of judgement; it passes mercilessly and without regard of you. 


 Regardless, deep down, I am compelled to pursue. Keep trying, keep believing. Keep at it. And despite not producing what I thought I needed to produce, I persevered, to overcome these mountains.  When you overcome, the road in front of you is smooth, the path is straight. You leap over every subsequent wall; you’ll run and not grow weary. What took months or years, will be accomplished in a shorter period of time. Because you persevered. Because you kept pushing, you did not give up even when you felt like it many times. Even when you thought your inner compass was broken, and you couldn’t understand the jerky motion of your actions. You come to a point where you ascend above the difficulties. You overcome them. And now you can run unencumbered. 

 

Remember, the race is not to the swift, nor battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor wealth to the intelligent, nor favour to the skilled, but time and chance happen to them all.* Time and chance. 

It may have felt like time wasn’t on your side. It may have felt that those you started with may be lightyears ahead, that all the best of the opportunities have passed you by. But as you persevered, and kept moving forward, you destroyed mountains in your path that will cause you to run where others walked, soar where others walked. You’ll surpass levels that others have reached and you’ll go further; because you persevered. Because time and chance are coming together for you, and their package is greater than what you would have conceived for yourself. 


The mountains before were difficult. But they produced in you perseverance. Endurance. Patience.  They refined you. You went through many fires, and you’ve come out as fine gold. Pure. Precious. Brilliant. And the generations after you will rejoice because you overcame every difficulty, the blessings of which they’re benefactors.

 

Yes, there are mountains. But you have overcome them all. And you shall continue to overcome them all. Your life will be glorious, to the glory of God.


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*Ecclesiastes 9:11