Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤


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Listen, Friend.


pic via @primedazzle


"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."  

|Proverbs 27:6|


What’s up with you? Why are you searching for something that is right in front of you? Take it from me, I know what it’s like to be searching for something that has been there all along, and not wanting to accept it. It wasn’t packaged how I wanted, and certainly not how I would have expected it. It didn’t fit into the narrative that I had created for myself. It didn’t make sense that I had to humble myself, slow down, and fully accept that what I was looking for, the foundation of it had to be built in the place that I wasn’t expecting. 

Yes, I am well acquainted with going down all kinds of rabbit holes only to end up dissatisfied, making errors that I need not, wearying myself because I couldn’t accept that I was a bad captain of my own ship. Admittedly, you’re proving to be an unskilled, unduly stubborn one. What are you looking for that you can’t find it where you are being directed? The thing is, a shepherd is tasked with protecting, guarding and directing the sheep. And I wish you’d understand that as much as you are piloting your ship, skill development is important. Personal development crucial. You need to continual training to keep abreast of life changes and new developments, you understand? Right now, you need to sharpen yourself, discipline yourself to surrender whatever it is that you are doing, and commit to developing yourself and being developed. And that is going to take time, and commitment and discipline, and consistency and surrender. 

Anyway, this isn’t meant to be lecture on the right way to live. At the end of the day, I know that you are going to do what you want. However, for people who love you and care for you, and those of us who genuinely want good things for you---- because our paths cross from time to time---I hope you can figure it out. All of us have a journey that we must take, but don’t let a 12-day journey turn into a 40-year expedition around the same mountain because of pride and stubbornness. 

 Plainly, get over yourself, ok? You don’t always get to keep everything and everyone in your life when you’re transitioning and going through monumental life changes! God requires you to be positioned in a certain way, and you’ll keep missing it, and being dissatisfied until you let go of this thing that you’re clinging to for dear life. Those who love their life will lose it. Whatever good you think you have right now, it’s nothing compared to what you could have.  Deep down you know that, I think. Put away the cowardice and get it together. You’ve wasted enough time as it is.