Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤


  • 1
    Hindsight is my first book! Read about where the idea came from, why I think it’s important, and how it’s the book that led to self-actualization.♡
    Read more
  • 2
    I’m the founder and owner of amazing plant based hair and body butter! Transform your hair and skin with our natural plant butters and oils!♡
    Shop Now!


Latest Posts

Help my unbelief

pic via @africa_and_blackculture

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…” |Ecclesiastes 3:1| 

Some seasons have been long and arduous. In my heart I know He can fulfill all things, but the length that it is taking…. trust begins to disintegrate, and my faith crumbles with it. And I begin to question everything…Even the word which is both spirit and life appears to be lifeless for me and me alone. Yet within that struggle, and that deep yearning that refuses to be comforted, I must find strength to still say: into your hands I commit my spirit… into your hands I commit my desire…into your hands I commit this situation….


How can a man, whose daughter just died, be confident to still worship and ask you to lay hands on his daughter that she may live again? How can a man be so certain of the authority of your words, that he confidently asks you to only speak your word so that his servant can be healed? What is it that these people understood about you? How, in their desperate and dark situations, were they this certain that you could do the absolute impossible? How is it that they vanquished all human rationale and uttered words that defied all human logic and reason? 

And what’s stopping me from doing the same? 


Am I strong enough to take my eyes off of the weight of the wait, and not letting the weight dictate the measure of my faith and belief?  Will I commit this work into Your hands, believing as the centurion did, that the fulfillment of my desire is in the power of Your word alone? That, should You give me a word, I will be healed. That should You only speak the word, my desire will come to pass. That its fulfillment is in my faith and belief in Your word which is both Spirit and Life; the Word which resurrects dead things, and makes all things new and heals and delievers…..



“…Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.” |Mark 9:24|