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Hi, my name is Chenai Mbanga! Welcome to my blog! I write to encourage, inspire and empower you in growing in your spiritual life through reflections and prose. I have been writing on this blog for 5 years now, and it has been a journey! Join me as I continue my journey toward self-actualizing.❤

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    HINDSIGHT
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    My girls and I are podcasters, speaking on life, adulting, and the socio-political challenges that we see and face as young black women in today’s society. Check out our podcast!♡
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Latest Posts

Eyes Wide Shut



I am not angry with you for getting an abortion.
I am angry with myself for letting you down. I am angry at them for letting us down. And I am angry that we let ourselves down.
My heart aches, because all life is precious. He tells us that we are a gift, one that we should not despise, nor disrespect. I let you down because I tell you that life is precious, yet I kill everyday. With my laugh, my words, the narrowing of my eyes, the contortion of contempt on my face, I kill.
I close my eyes to it all. And shut my ears to all the cries. I didn't cause this. I tell them: do better, know better. I spit at their feet. A waste of human space.
I have become a skilled assassin.

xxxx

With banners held high, and words etched in the blood of the dead, they scream that hell is upon us because we are killers. But in secret they brandish their daggers, cock their gun and take aim as we spill into the doors seeking aid. Is this not the house of those who are sick? Why has it become a den of thieves? A nest of wickedness, dressed in robes of white. They baptize in waters of tolerance.
In darkness they pervert holiness; in light, they serve us the fruit of their iniquity.
They’ve let us down.

xxxx

What is holy is perceived as wicked, and what is wicked is hallowed. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who love it will eat its fruits. Such rotten fruit we have produced for ourselves. We won’t confess that our trees are dying, that our hearts are hardening.  Look all around you. Wickedness abounds; do you not perceive it? You hear me tell you that your soul is in danger, but you don’t understand.

xxxx

We throw blame here, there, everywhere. We break off chains only to make ourselves new ones. We have let ourselves down. With each ground of freedom that we gain we enslave ourselves further.

You killed. And I killed. Forgive me. Forgive yourself. Instead, you stew in offence. In learning, we don't act better; we find an alternative. How sad that nothing is sacred anymore. No, not even you. Not even you, the greatest gift to me, to all of us.

Comments

  1. Powerful, very discrisptive and convicting

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woah, you had me holding my breath from the first sentence!
    "We break off chains only to make ourselves new ones" *snap snap snap*

    ReplyDelete

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